Start the Art

I am still really struggling to find my mojo, as evidenced by the fact that I haven't posted anything since the first of February. This is extremely difficult for me because I struggle with debilitating physical and mental disabilities, and paper crafting has been my coping mechanism for over two years now. To lose my mojo, and my love for the craft, has sent me into a spiraling depression.

A couple of months ago I decided to try keeping an art journal to see if it would help reignite the fire, and frankly, it did the opposite. I am just not an artist, and everything I made looked like mud. But I kept at it, and three thrown-away journals later I finally made a few spreads that I liked, so I decided to go ahead and make a title page for that specific journal. This was the result.

I totally stole the whole idea, from the "Start" sign to the text, from someone else. I found her artwork months ago while looking for inspiration, and loved it so much it stayed in my head all this time. Unfortunately, I have no idea where I saw it, and feel terrible that I can't give her complete credit. If anyone happens to see this and recognizes her work, would you PLEASE let me know who had the original idea?

I really struggled with copying it so completely, but finally decided it was better to make SOMETHING than nothing. Like I said, I'm just not an artist, and really struggle with inspiration. I've just decided to be okay with that. The alternative is to do nothing.

I am entering it in the Inspiration Emporium's Playing with Watercolors Challenge.

Recipe:

Inktense watercolor pencils.
Dylusions "Luscious Leaves" Stencil
Dylusions Sprays in "Fresh Lime," "Vibrant Torquoise," and "London Blue."
Dylusions " Background Love" stamps
Cuttlebug letter dies
Sakura Glaze and Souffle pens
White and black gel pens
Stickles

 Honestly, my life has always been, and continues to be, very difficult. I had a horrific childhood and was abused by my father in every conceivable way. I've had an adulthood full of one relationship after another, with every single one that meant anything to me ending, most often, without even saying goodbye, leaving me to feel even more worthless than I already had. Of course, I understand the reason I had those types of relationships is because I never felt anyone could love me in the first place, and the only men I ever thought I had a chance with were losers. And then there's the fact that I have two children who I damaged terribly, so much so that my son is an extremely unlikable man who is capable of being abusive, and my daughter is like me, with one man after another leaving her. It is one thing to know no one will ever love me, but completely another, and far more terrifying, to know your children will never be loved either. I am disabled with fibromyalgia, a pain disorder that leaves me in crippling pain for no reason, and for which I have to take pain medications that scare the shit out of me. I am also disabled due to PTSD, and live in constant fear/anxiety that, had anyone tried to explain to me before I experienced it, I would have dismissed as not really as bad as it is. Just like my sister, my brothers, and every other person in my life has dismissed. And yes, it really is as bad as I say. 

The only thing that has helped me cope the last few years is paper crafting. Once I discovered it, it was like a miracle, for I was able to get outside of my head doing something I enjoyed immensely. But, lately, I feel like I've reached a plateau, and every card has begun to like the same. So, I decided to venture out and try my hand at art journaling, both as a new paper crafting medium, but also to see if it could be cathartic given my life is so difficult.

Well, the first two months of this were a disaster. I could not make anything that didn't look like a three-year-old threw it together. In addition, I felt like it was making me feel worse emotionally, than better. But, then I discovered stencils, and FINALLY, I made something I actually like. No, LOVE. I absolutely fucking LOVE this piece. 

Anyone familiar with art journaling will recognize the style I've used, and I realize it's not very original. And I do sort of feel like I'm cheating by using the stencils, but honestly, a big part of my problem is that I cannot draw worth shit, and yet I wanted drawing to be part of the page. So, if using stencils is cheating, I'm good with it. 

I want to add some writing to the page, but am afraid to touch it! I actually think I'm very good at backgrounds, and have made quite a few beautiful ones only to ruin them when I write on the page. The theme is "It does not matter whether I am outside looking in or inside looking out. All the vibrant, thriving kaleidoscope of life is wherever I am not." But, like I said, I'm afraid to ruin the page. That's because though I am quite good at making backgrounds, I keep ruining them once it comes to adding a focal point, be it written or drawn. So, I'm going to let this one set a while until I am comfortable adding the writing. Or, maybe I'll just let it speak for itself without it. Hmmmm. . . .

I'm not entering this in any challenges, and I realize no one is even going to see this. I'm good with that. I just wanted to put it out there because I really am very proud of it. So, if you do happen to see this, and slodge through this entire "poor poor pitiful me," entry, I give you my sincere and heartfelt thanks. I know reading stuff like this is a turn-off, but along with deciding to journal, I've decided I am going to start telling my truth, and nothing but my truth. If people judge me for that, as does those in my real life, fuck 'em.

Amy's Tag

This is my next attempt at getting Holtzy, and I have to say, I absolutely LOVE this tag, not only because I think it's very pretty, but because I have spent the last couple of weeks in a real funk feeling like I don't have a creative bone in my body. and to finally come up with something I really like feels great. I am going to give this to my niece, Amy, for her birthday, specifically because Amy is one of the few members of my family who truly appreciates not only the effort that goes into making a tag, but also the beauty of it. She's a fashionista with a Silhouette Cameo, and I adore her!

 I knew from the beginning that I wanted to use My Mind's Eye's Breeze papers for the flowers, and so to match the colors, I made my own glimmer mists out of Distress Ink Reinkers (Broken China, Bundled Sage and Mustard Seed). I added some Irridescent Medium (found in the paint supplies at the craft store) to the mists, which added a lovely sparkle.

However, what really made the colors work was Tim Holtz's Distress Ink Stain Picket Fence. I love that stuff, because if your colors are too bright, you need only swipe a little Picket Fence over them and they're toned down. If they're not bright enough, swipe a little over them and reapply your color, which now pops out better because of the white background. In fact, I feel like I succeeded in attaining a translucent effect only because of the Picket Fence. Love it!

Recipe:
Heartland Creations Bella Rose stamp
Tim Holtz The Moment stamp
My Mind's Eye Lost & Found 2 Breeze papers
Spellbinders dies: Donna Salazar Rose Creations
Prima Say it in Pearls flower centers
Sizzix Sizzlet Lear Die
Distress Inks for color wash: Broken China, Bundled Sage, Mustard Seed
Irridescent Medium (mixed in colorwash)
Distress Ink Stain: Picket Fence
Sakura Souffle pen
Stampendous dark blue and dark green Pearlescent embossing powders

Challenges:

Divas By Design--anything goes
Flutterby Wednesday--Open, must have a butterfly (there are three tiny butterflies on the tag)
Gingersnap Creations--Words of Wisdom
The House that Stamps Built--heat embossing (the words and stamped leaves are heat embossed)
Whimsy Stamps~~Make your own flowers.
Party Time Tuesdays--anything goes
Hook on Crafts~~something bright
Incy Wincy Designs~~flowers
Make My Monday--butterflies and/or dragonflies
My Craft Spot--anything goes

More Gettin' Holtzy

Continuing in my efforts to use Tim Holtz's techniques, I used Ranger's Distresss Crackle Paint to make this flower pin. This was so so so so fun for me, because it was something so so so different from a card or tag. It took me a couple of tries to get used to how the crackle paint worked, but once I got it, I fell in L.O.V.E.!!!!

I actually saw this idea in a Splitcoast Stamper gallery last month, and am just sick because I can't find it now to give credit to the person I stole the idea from. But, the following are the directions that she gave: 

1) Cut the flower pieces out of heavy paper. (I used white chipboard and then attached a matching pieces of white cardstock to make it extra thick.)

2) Cover each piece with Glossy Accents and let it completely dry. Though I have no idea why, this step was extremely important. I tried to skip this step a few times, and the result was always completely different, and not nearly as pretty, as what you see above.

3) Cover each piece with Picket Fence Distress Crack Paint and let completely dry. This step took me a few tries to get a feel of how much paint was needed for just the right amount of crackle. In fact, if  you've never used CP before, I would suggest first purchasing two bottles, so you can play with a lot of it without worrying you'll run out. .

4) Sponge the Distress Ink of your choosing over the crackle paint, being sure to get it into the cracks. I actually had a hard time with this step because the ink just wasn't seeping into the cracks like I wanted. Finally, I found that if I spritzed some Perfect Pearls (Forever Violet) on the flower parts, then wiped it off, the PP stayed in, and therefore highlighted, the cracks. I'm sure there are more effective ways to do this, but that's whatworked for me.

At that point, I repeated the above to make the leaves, and a swirl, then assembled the flower by adding a button, a feather, and the pin attachment.

+

Happy Accident

I just discovered a lovely blog called Enjoying Life. Barb is very talented at making simple yet stunning cards, something I am NOT good at at all. And I'm really impressed with how she uses color on her more complicated cards. 

I was inspired to try a technique Barb described called "watercolor blocking" where you put distress stains on your craft mat, spritz it with Perfect Pearls mist, and then smoosh your acrylic block into the color and stamp it on paper. When I tried it, I was delighted to discover the grid lines on my block transferred to the paper, something I had not expected. I'm making tags for everyone's birthdays this year, and think this will make a wonderful background!

I made quite a few using different colors, but they weren't photographing well. I thought the pic above would give you the general idea, though. I just love happy accidents. Thanks, Barb!

By the way, Barb is giving away some fabulous blog candy, pictured to the right. Click on the link to her blog, located above, to enter.

Doug's Tag

 My next  Tags for Twenty-Twelve (see sidebar) is for my brother-in-law Doug. Once again I tried to make it Holtzy, and actually quite like how it turned out. 

I wonder, though, if any of you feel as conflicted as I do about using Tim's trinkets. Don't get me wrong, I think they are wonderfully unique and full of character. But, I've always had issues with using pre-made embellishments because I feel like it's cheating. If I can't make it myself, I don't use it. Obviously, though, given so many of Tim's embellishments are metal, it's not possible for me to make them myself. But I really struggle with just slapping something pre-made on the card, even when it works, because I feel like it's the designer's work, not mine. 

Yes, there are so many really awful things to worry about in life, and this is stupid! But, there it is. :)

I recycled a paper bag for the tag's envelope. Because the bag was already a kraft color, the Distress Inks do not look as vibrant, but I thought it was cute anyway.

I picked up the My Mind's Eye burlap on sale at my LSS, thinking I had no idea what I could possibly use it on, and it's actually one of my favorite parts of this ensemble.

Recipe:

Tim Holtz products:

   Texture Fade Clock and Steampunk 

   Memo Pins

   Filmstrip Ribbon

   Timepieces

   Adornments Classic (crown)

   Type Charms

   Spinners

   Harliquen stamp

   Alphabet Soup Grungeboard (the "5" and "6")
Spellbinders Labels One 

Stampin' Up Circles of Friendship stamp
Distress Inks
Stampendous Kaleidoscope embossing powder
My Mind's Eye burlap

Challenges:

Splendiferous--Elements of Time
Raise the Bar Challenges~~circles
C.R.A.F.T. Challenges~~use numbers
Simon Says Stamp~~anything but a card

The Tags of Twenty-Twelve

I actually had a bit of inspiration last night, which you might want to mark on your calendar because it happens so rarely. I have decided that, instead of making everyone cards for their birthdays this year, I am going to make everyone a tag, and then for Christmas I will make each family a mini album with slots for their tags, giving them a remembrance of “The Tags of Twenty-Twelve.” I think this will be especially poignant for the four young families who are having babies this year.

The only thing I haven’t figured out is how to politely, and appropriately, insist that everyone put their tags somewhere where they’ll be able to find them come Christmas. I am disabled and am not responsible for taking care of anyone but myself, and I know how hard that would be for me to do. Everyone else has families and jobs, and I'm sure they don't need one more thing they have to do. So, if anyone reading this has any ideas of how to word a request that the tag's recipients keep their tags somewhere where they can retrieve them at the end of the year, I would be mighty grateful.

My favorite part of this tag is the pretty heart with my niece's age on it, shown above. I decided that, in keeping with "The Birthdays of Twenty-Twelve," I would add every person's age to their respective card. Here I cut the heart out of white chip board, stamped the "28" on it, then embossed it twice with Metal Art's UTEE. Once it was cold, I made cracks in the enamel, and it looks like old china with cracks in it. Unfortunately, I could not get a picture that shows the tiny cracks, just the large ones, but you still should get the idea. 

01-11-12: Edited to add: Lots of happy dancin' going on here because my tag made it into the top three at Tuesday Throwdown! This is my first time ever making it into a top three, and I am both excited, and honored.

Recipe: 

Melissa Frances 5th Avenue paper

Stampabilities Wire Dress Form stamp

Foam stamps for the number "28," but I don't know who made them

Martha Stewart Small Flower punch

My Mind's Eye Lost and Found trim

Spellbinders Ribbon Banner die

Melt Art Ultra Thick Embossing Enamel

Tim Holtz Idea-ology Tissue Tape

Tim Holtz Idea-ology Trinket Pins

Tim Holtz Idea-ology Metal Charm -- bird

Tim Holtz Idea-ology Chain Tassels

Mubbleberry Bear paper mini-rosebuds and flowers

Bling and ribbon from stash

Challenges:

CES Challenges~~anything goes

Simply Create Too--more than two layers

Crafty Creations Challenges~~heat embossing

Fab 'n'Funky Challenges~~use something new you got for Christmas (Tim Holtz Chain Tassels)

My Mum's Craft Shop~~use something new (Tim Holtz Chain Tassels)

Simon Says Stamp~~use something new (Tim Holtz Chain Tassels)

Stampavie and Mor~~hearts

Ladybug Crafts Inc.~~-anything goes using your new stash (Tim Holtz Chain Tassels)

Party Time Tuesdays~~anything new (Tim Holtz Tassels)

Tuesday Throwdown~~something shiny (bling and the embossed heart)